Saturday, April 13, 2013

Most Intelligent: #1



#1: Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock

He makes it a point to NOT know anything about pop culture, including sports and entertainment; however, he knows absolutely everything about horrific crimes committed, various murders in general, anatomy, and has a profound understanding of most of the sciences. He is also an expert violinist. He is also an expert crypto-analyst, which comes in handy with his cases. His photographic memory, paired with his ability to process probabilities and break down crime scenes in just seconds makes him an impossible foe to elude.

Weakness: He has no idea how to relate to people, but he does not care.





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Most Intelligent: 2-3


#3: Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon has an eidetic memory, which enables him to recall virtually any information he has ever seen before. He has an IQ of 187, but laments that his IQ cannot be accurately measured by modern tests. He has a Masters Degree, 2 Doctorates, and holds an extensive knowledge in all Maths and Sciences, Computers, Electronics, Engineering, History/Geography, Linguistics, Finnish, Spanish, French, Chinese, Persian, and Arabic.

Weakness: He usually lacks common sense, particularly in social situations.






#2: Dr. Gregory House, House, M.D.
Simply put, Dr. House has the mind that every one of us wants- minus the self-agonizing cynicism, of course. He knows everything about everything in an almost superhuman way. His character is based off of Sherlock Holmes, which makes the whiteboard make more sense...and the Vicodin addiction...and Dr. Wilson (Watson). He is always a thousand steps ahead of everybody else on the show, sometimes everybody simultaneously. He somehow keeps access to everyone's emails, homes, and there are virtually no secrets kept from him. Of course, there is also the medical aspect- he knows it all. He also speaks Spanish, Russian, Chinese, Portuguese, and Hindi. All this being said, viewers still often see him studying to learn even more.


Weakness: His Vicodin addiction, which actually makes him smarter, is illegal.











I'm sure you have figured it out by now, but the #1 most intelligent TV character of all-time is right here!

Most Intelligent: 4-5



#5: Daniel Faraday, Lost
Faraday is a physicist from the University of Oxford who has been given a buttload of grant money to screw with time travel. I'm still not exactly sure what he did on that show, but I know it had something to do with electromagnetic energy. Basically, without him, there are no seasons 4, 5, and 6 unless they found a way to do them sans time travel.

Weakness: He couldn't save her.











#4: River Tam, Firefly

River, extremely gifted intellectually from a very young age, consistently has both a strong thirst for knowledge and a love for and intuitive grasp of dance. By the time she was 14 years old, she had grown “bored” with her studies and was already in the graduate program for physics.

It was at this point that she was sent to a government learning facility known as "The Academy". While her parents and Simon believed the Academy was a private school meant to nurture the gifts of talented children, it was in fact a cover for a government experiment in creating assassins. While in the hands of the Alliance doctors and scientists, River was secretly and extensively experimented on, including surgery that damaged her amygdala. According to Simon, the Alliance attempted to isolate River from her family, though she managed to send a call for help by putting a coded message in a letter to her brother. Simon decoded the message and set out to rescue his then 16-year-old sister, despite his parents' insistence that he was being paranoid. Simon exhausted his personal fortune and sacrificed a promising career in medicine, but eventually located and freed River with the help of anti-governmental groups.


The R. Tam sessions depict her descent into insanity, and also portray hints of her psychic abilities. She references the "G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate", which would later be a plot point in the film Serenity, and mentions the Academy's first subject “dying on the table”, something she could not have learned through conventional means. The first session clip indicates she has strong “intuitive” abilities and can easily understand complex subjects.

Weakness: She struggles with insanity.





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Most Intelligent: 6-8








#8: Michael Scofield, Prison Break
The first season of Prison Break is some of the best television anyone will ever see. The second and third seasons are tolerable. The fourth and fifth will make you want to jump into a lake with Oprah Winfrey tied to your ankles. Throughout all the awful, just awful script-writing, Scofield's brilliant mind remained a constant. I don't want to post spoilers here, but let me just put it to you this way- he is definitely the best preparer on this list. He is a structural engineer and knows absolutely everything about buildings, inside and out. Beyond his knowledge, Michael has an unbelievably keen awareness of his surroundings. Now if he could somehow give some of that common sense to that lughead brother of is.

Weakness: Lincoln Burrows; Sara Tancredi; Script-writers who never finished Kindergarten;













#7: Patrick Jane, The Mentalist












#6: Walter White, Breaking Bad
He helps his university team win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry, then starts his own company with a partner. Screwed out of the company he helped found, this chemist's character changes probably more than any other tv character ever. He goes from victim to hero, back to victim, back to hero, and finally to villain. At one point, he enters a heavily-guarded gang fortress to demand $50,000.00 for injuries his meth-lab partner sustains- and he has no gun. When the bad guy boss threatens to kill Walter, he uses an explosive crystal of fulminated mercury to nearly blow up the building.

Weakness: He works in a drug environment, but has no combat experience, and only minimal knowledge.


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Most Intelligent: 9-11





#11: Noah Bennet, Heroes
One of the only characters without a super power, his specialty, (besides his iconic horn-rimmed glasses, which dazzle ladies and intimidate normal humans), is his keen intuition. He speaks Japanese, Russian, presumably Creole with his undertaking of the Haitian, and likely many other languages. He successfully leads a double life, hiding his life as a hunter of supers (and his hand-to-hand combat skills) from his family. He is apparently even smarter than the script writers, since he never really reveals to the audience what his true overall agenda actually is. I blame his daughter for the show getting cancelled.

Weakness: He is playing a boy among men, batting with a toothpick in the big game, carrying a knife to a gunfight- ok, you get the point.












#10: Al Swearengen, Deadwood
The owner of the Gem Saloon regularly uses a vocabulary wider than the sky. Swearengen continually forges plots in Deadwood that keep his end game hidden. He bribes, lies, cheats, and murders when he has to. He has an excellent knowledge of business, finance, politics, and seems to be the only person in the town who can communicate with Wu, leader of the Chinese population. He is somewhat experienced in hand-to-hand combat, as he has had experience with a knife in the past. He is a master negotiator who ultimately handles George Hearst about as well as anybody possibly could.

Weakness: None- for the time and place in which he lives, he is much more intelligent than he should be.



#9: Adrian Monk, Monk
Suffering lasting grief stemming from the tragic murder of his wife, Monk puts all of his energy into his work- solving crime. He is the only person on this list to claim to have a photographic memory. He admittedly suffers from 312 various phobias, which go to show you how much he knows, for one thing, and the probability that he is an excellent speller.

Weakness: His phobias and OCD sometimes distract him so badly he cannot focus






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Most Intelligent: 12-14








#14: Leonard Hofstadter, The Big Bang Theory

Leonard has an IQ of 173, was 24 when he received his PhD from Princeton University, and also received a Dissertation of the Year award for his doctoral paper on experimental particle physics. Leonard has been established to have been a child prodigy, and a gifted scientist with an impressive knowledge of theoretical physics. His work as an experimental physicist often includes the use of lasers, such as a helium–neon laser or free-electron laser, and his research topics have varied from Bose–Einstein condensates and foundations of quantum mechanics to soft cosmic rays at sea level and development of novel rocket propellants. Leonard designs experiments in order to prove theories but, according to the cynical and childish egotistical theorist Sheldon, his work is mostly derivative and thus unimportant.

Weakness: He has a plethora of medical issues, including asthma, myopia, lactose intolerance, sleep apnea, and a bad family history of heart disease.









#13: Cal Lightman, Lie to Me

The title pretty much says it all- he can always tell if someone is lying to him or not. To say that he is a "top-notch" psychiatrist is a terrible understatement. He was formerly with British Intelligence and has interrogated many people around the world over the years. Cal is an expert in body language, facial expressions and any signal of when a person is telling the truth or not. The person does not even need to talk- he can look at pictures. For example, in some scenes the criminals expression was the same as OJ, Bill Clinton, and the Enron guy. He cares so much about what people are not saying, that he can not get close to anyone. The interesting plot is his 14 year old daughter who knows when he tries to read her and she is able to deflect him.

Weakness: He cannot hold a relationship because he knows when he is being lied to, which we all do daily. For you deniers out there, what did you tell that cop when he asked why you were speeding? Why did you REALLY have to hang up the phone and end your conversation with Grandma? Ok, moving on.











#12: Michael Westen, Burn Notice
Westen, a spy who has been all over the world, is a modern MacGyver, only smarter. He seems to know absolutely everything about combat survival, psychological stress disorders, chemistry, medicine, escapology, and criminal psychology.

Weakness: Although he kills, he sometimes leaves people alive who can hurt him.







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Most Intelligent: 15-17







#17: Lord Petyr Baelish, Game of Thrones

Baelish, nicknamed "Littlefinger," is Treasurer of the Seven Kingdoms. His intelligence is unrivaled, though Tyrion and Lord Varys often try. Because of spoilers (mainly for me, because I have not read the books and I don't want to see what happens to his character), I am not going to say much about his actions. Just watch the show.

Weakness: He is either very unclear about what he wants in the long run, or he does not know.












#16: Gustavo "Gus" Fring, Breaking Bad
This ruthless methamphetamine distributor's glare still sends chills down my spine. He is extremely precise and methodical in everything that he does, even the littlest most insignificant actions. He is extraordinarily careful in all he does and whom he chooses to work with. Like others on this list, Gus leads a double life. In addition to this, he also uses an alias, maintaining a past that nobody know anything of.

Weakness: Pride












#15: Peggy Olson, Mad Men
In a company, country, and world dominated by men, Olson defies them all by not only absorbing all the same criticism, raunchy chauvinistic jokes, low pay, and long hours that the other women endure, but by capitalizing on these slights. Peggy loathes the double-standards, but plays her role at times in order to stay on her path to success. While Don is extremely intelligent, his survival does not depend on his knowledge in the ever-changing advertisement industry to the degree that hers does.

Weakness: She lets her feelings get in the way, like almost jumping ship with Duck when she felt unappreciated.












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Most Intelligent: 18-20








#20: Ben Linus, Lost
For the first three seasons, when the writing was good, Linus kept viewers at the edge of their seats as he led "the Others," a mysterious and frightening flock of island dwellers. Ben craves leadership and respect, devising whatever he has to to clear out his opponents. Linus is probably the very best liar in this list.

Weakness: When he loses his composure, he seems to lose his wit.












#19: Chloe O'Brian, 24
This sulky brat annoyed us all for almost a decade, but even I cannot deny her exceptional intelligence. Chloe is clearly one of the top computer science experts in the country, if not the world; however, she also exhibits a highly keen awareness of the psychological state of people in CTU. She also shows her knowledge of weapons and showcases her ability to handle a gun in combat. Ok, now that that is over, I can go back to hating on her.

Weakness: Her loyalty- she is rotting in prison for 15 years because of it












#18: Roy Hinkley, Gilligan's Island
The Professor, a high-school science teacher from Cleveland, has earned degrees from USC, UCLA, SMU, and TCU, including Masters and Ph.D. In addition to being a science wizard, he also knows quite a bit about literature, history, law, and the arts. The professor keeps everyone's spirits up by creating things, including rechargeable batteries.

Weakness: He has no knowledge of how to fix a hole in a boat.









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Most Intelligent: 21-23





#23: Perry Mason, Perry Mason
Unlike that gray suit-wearing Mayberry lawyer, Perry Mason calls the true murderer to the stand and tactically rips them limb from limb with a pre-designed strategy. Mason is so good that most of the time his client's charges are dropped before the trial even starts! It's true- the preliminary hearings are generally the venue in which the climax of the show happens. His overall record was a staggering 291-3.

Weakness: He works in the era before DNA, and lacks many aids that Matlock has.












#22: E.B. Farnum, Deadwood
Owner and manager of the Grand Central Hotel, Farnum makes his life purpose to be respected. He masterminds a deceptive plot to sell Alma Garrett's husband a presumably worthless gold mine, constantly keeps tabs on everybody in town at the behest of Al Swearengen, and even advises that a little girl be killed to prevent her from exploiting a murderer. Almost all of Farnum's numerous counts of blackmail and underhandedness fail, yet at the end of the series he is wealthy from the hotel sale to Hearst, hopeful to become the next mayor, and set to live a nice long life.

Weakness: Indiscreet; lacks physical strength to keep up in a dangerous town












#21: Don Draper, Mad Men
Draper, creative director of a premier New York City advertising agency, always knows what to say. In a 2009 poll asking voters, "Who is the most influential man in the world," this fictional character placed #1 on the list, beating out, well, everybody on the planet. Dude didn't even finish high school, worked as a used car salesman, and climbed his way to the top of the ad world. Oh, and Don Draper isn't even his name. His past is buried, along with any chances of his staying true and faithful to his nutjob wife.

Weakness: Chauvinistic attitude toward women, which limits the potential for his knowledge and creativity











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Most Intelligent: 24-26




#26: Lester Freamon, The Wire
Some say Lester is the smartest person on the smartest show, which makes him the smartest character ever. My problem with that is that he only caught all these bad guys because he broke laws to do so. If Bunk would have illegally applied wiretaps, he would have been the genius. Of course, Lester was smart enough to realize he didn't have anything to lose. It's also implied that Freamon makes a lucrative side living- carving those figurines.

Weakness: Clean cops like Kima; Reckless cops like McNulty;











#25: Angus MacGyver, MacGyver
A successful combination of scientist and secret agent, MacGyver is only deadly as a last resort. He uses his plethora of knowledge not only for his awesome job, but also for various charities and good causes throughout the series. One of the most realistic tv characters ever, Mac exhibits a tremendous amount of fear sometimes when faced with a life-or-death situation. MacGyver also speaks Russian, German, French, Italian, Sing Language, and knows Morse Code. He also holds quite an extensive knowledge of the outdoors.

Weakness: Mullets, no bullets












#24: Benjamin Matlock, Matlock
Matlock charges $100,000 per case, but keep in mind that this was 25-30 years ago. He is one of the first TV characters who insist on visiting the (very old) crime scene to search for clues, even though people shake their heads and roll their eyes at him for it. Despite his folksy down-to-earth personality, insatiable lust for chili dogs, and aptness for playing the banjo and polishing his shoes, Matlock almost never loses his cases- all of which are pre-destined "locks" for the prosecutor.

Weakness: He always, always, always waits until the very end to put all the pieces together, giving his client an unnecessary heart attack. It's a good thing this next guy on the list wasn't quite as bad:











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Most Intelligent: 27-29






#29: Gemma Teller Morrow, Sons of Anarchy
She is probably the true leader of SAMCRO. Occasionally, Clay or Jax will flex their muscles and try to lay claim to their title as President, only for Gemma to mastermind yet another plan to keep everybody in their rightful places.

Weakness: She continually takes everything on by herself, which leads to tragic consequences for her early in Season Two.












#28: Lord Varys, Game of Thrones



Lord Varys, the Spider, might be the greatest spy in TV history (hmm, that might be the next category I come up with). He is the Master of Whisperers and has spies everywhere on the map. 

Weakness: Sometimes he chooses the wrong allies and loses power as a result.












#27: Amber Volakis, House, M.D.
*Spoiler Warning*

This chick is so smart she was basically Dr. House on steroids for a short time in the series. She cheats, claws, steals, and manipulates her way past all her opponents in the intern contest to win a job on the diagnostic staff. Even after she is done working, she defeats House to win the ultimate prize- James Wilson. Even after death, her hallucinations continue to haunt House. I hate that they wrote her off the show, but her demise made for some of the greatest television I have ever seen.

Weakness: Picking up drunk friends at bars who need rides and then taking buses doomed to crash











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Most Intelligent: 30-32





#32: Landry Clarke, Friday Night Lights
Landry is Screech Powers, but smarter. He does football players' homework assignments just like the former, but he also knows how to talk to girls and he leads a rock band. Furthermore, he eventually becomes the starting kicker and a special teams player in later seasons.

Weakness: Tyra Collette











#31: Agent Frank Lundy, Dexter
This FBI wizard, who hunts serial killers, also claims to be an expert in both the culinary arts and the music world. Above all, he is very, VERY good at what he does. Had his luck turned out differently, he sure would have gone down as the dude who caught the two biggest serial killers in history.

Weakness: Disadvantage of not having known Dexter for very long











#30: Brian Miller, Still Standing
The obvious valedictorian of his class, Brian one-ups Landry Clarke, who had one-upped Screech Powers. He practically raises himself, driven to be as different from his loser parents as he possibly can. The climax of his intelligence on screen shows his joining the cheerleading squad, which he ultimately rubs into the faces of his naysayers when it's revealed that he only did so to get a bunch of tail. At the end of the short-lived series, Brian attends the prestigious University of Chicago.

Weakness: knows very little of the male-related world










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Most Intelligent: 33-35





#35: Oscar Martinez, The Office
Oscar is, by far, the smartest person in the office (probably to add to the homosexual stereotype the fun-loving writers came up with). The peak of his frustration is seen when boss Michael Scott, facing public pressure, counters Oscar's plethora of facts about the Chinese economy with a juvenile, but charismatic, "Go America" speech, which, of course, wins the crowd over.

Weakness: He doesn't have to be a genius to stay smarter than the office, which seems to be his only ambition.











#34: Samuel "Screech" Powers, Saved by the Bell
Screech is that kid you want sitting in front of you in high school. When he isn't being stuffed into lockers or trash cans, he is constantly doing somebody else's homework, coming up with a new algorithm, or using his sarcastic wit to taunt.

Weakness: He fell in with the wrong crowd.












#33: Pete Campbell, Mad Men
Pete will undercut anybody in the agency to climb the ladder. He even salvaged blockbuster client, Lucky Strike, when Don exhibited a rare case of not being prepared. He has a deep dark hatred for his parents, a subtle fact viewers can pick up at times. This likely fuels his bitter drive to capitalize when he can.

Weakness: His unlikability, if you will allow me to make up that word





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Most Intelligent: 36-38






#38: Dr. Jennifer Melfi, The Sopranos
Gotta hand it to her- she stuck with him for the long haul. Just think of all the things that could have gone wrong for 99.9% of the other shrinks who could have ministered to Tony Soprano. At the very least, he would have quit therapy, which he did several times with her, too, but he always came back. At the very worst, he would have had the therapist killed. Melfi always struck the perfect balance with him, though I still really, REALLY wish she would have told him about what happened to her.

Weakness- Stubbornness- she knew her counselor was right and she would not accept it.











#37: Daniel Linderman, Heroes
A former soldier, mobster, and continual extortioner, Linderman is a master manipulator. He makes it a point to know everything about everybody at all times. Too bad the scrip-writers felt the need to release him from his obligations to the show.

Weakness: Politics











#36: Lincoln Potter, Sons of Anarcy
Potter makes no apologies in his determination to catch the bad guys, no matter how many laws he has to break. He seems to know everything he needs to, though they do not always tell the audience how he knows.

Weakness: He tends to put all his eggs into one basket. Also blow-up dolls






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Most Intelligent: 39-41




#41: Clair Huxtable, The Cosby Show

Clair is who Angela Petrelli COULD have been. Clair, too, has much ambition for her five children; however, she might be the greatest TV mother of all-time. (Do I foresee a "greatest mothers" category? Be quiet, Sean Connery.) Clair manages to raise all of her children, feed that large cuss of a husband, and hold down a highly successful law practice seemingly without any problems.

Weakness: Too many distractions











#40: Ari Gold, Entourage

One of the most powerful agents in Hollywood, Ari is a Harvard grad. He knows everybody and he thinks he knows everything- and he almost does. His major prevention from being higher on this list lies in his inability to align with everybody he needs to to stay in the loop- mostly Eric, Vince's manager.

Weakness- Severed connections, yet he has never cheated on his wife, the one person who might be holding him back. What a paradox.












#39: Sherry Palmer, 24

Sherry just might be the best cover-up artist of all-time. In addition to destroying evidence, issuing threats, and even committing murder, she does time for treason. With the right pieces, Palmer just might have been able to put together her puzzle, which may have eventually earned her the oval office.

Weakness: Overplaying her hand too quickly






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Most Intelligent: 42-44


#44: Frank Underwood, House of Cards

**SPOILER ALERT**
Underwood displays an overwhelming sense of zeal and tenacity as he unravels opponents' plans, destroys their reputations, and eliminates his enemies. His will to carry out his masterful plans reveals a cold, black heart with no empathy to get in the way. He is 21st century Machiavelli.

Weakness: Sometimes he entrusts his underlings too often with critical tasks that he himself should do.









#43: Dr. Martha Masters, House, M.D.



If she had lasted longer than seven episodes, she would be much higher on this list. She graduated high school at age 15 and earned doctorates in both Mathematics and Art History. Although the show does not reveal how or why she came into the medical profession, she somehow passes all of Dr. House's trials and takes the job on his staff. In the brief time she is in the series, there is literally nothing Masters does not know.

Weakness: Her morality- what a team she and House could have been











#42: Dexter Morgan, Dexter




Dexter is far from reckless. What the show only shows viewers a tiny portion of is the countless hours upon hours of studying and research Dexter puts into his work- and when I say "work," well, right, you get it. He is known as the greatest forensics expert in Florida, but it's probably the entire world. He studied advanced jiu-jitsu in college, knows everything about boats, and, perhaps most importantly, makes his own crime scenes perfectly clean. He has no feelings at all, and his number one rule is "don't get caught," which has many speculating an inevitable series finale of someone very close to him being his final victim in the audience's eyes. *Update: the finale sucked, as you know, and everybody's intelligence, (including Dexter's), dropped quite a few levels.

Weakness: He does not listen to his hallucinations enough.






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Most Intelligent: 45-47


#47: Ralph Cifaretto, The Sopranos

*Spoiler Aler*
Tony Soprano would kill anybody for committing even a fraction of the sins Ralphie is guilty of. So why does he get away with it for most of the series? He is, by far, the best earner. Despite his unstable nature and his repeated violent outbursts (he beats a woman to death in one scene), it takes a conversation gone sour that leads to his demise at the hands of Tony, himself.

Weakness: Jealousy, anger, inability and/or unwillingness to predict consequences for his actions







#46: Batiatus, Spartacus

Batiatus, a master manipulator, convinces best friends to turn on each other, lies to his gladiators about the welfare of their families, and even stands by as he allows his own father to be killed to improve Batiatus' standing and preserve his lucrative business.

Weakness: His lack of trust dissolves key allies









#45: Sol Star, Deadwood

The co-owner of the hardware store at the beginning of the series, Sol later helps establish a bank in Deadwood. Star is so smart that he manages to almost single-handedly run the business, keep a spicy relationship with Trixie, and clean up that hot-headed partner Bullock's messes.

Weakness: He shies away from the affairs of the town, thus, misses out on valuable info







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